Below you will find the last six of my list of Top Fifteen Fantasy Foods. Be sure to view some of our other “Top Lists” related to Science Fiction and Fantasy here.
In Watership Down, the world’s best book about bunnies, “silflay” (both a noun and a verb) is defined as “food above ground” and “the act of eating food above ground.” That may seem too general to get your salivary glands working, but when you put it in the context of the food the rabbits in Watership Down eat, it’s strangely appealing.
Imagine this: you’re a bunny out for a midnight silflay…the grass is moist with dew…you eat your fill of the tender green shoots of grass while smelling the intoxicatingly fresh night breezes rustling the trees across the silent hillside.
Silflay is a comforting, peaceful thing…like going to your fridge whenever you want and pouring a glass of lemonade to drink on the porch and watch the world go by. I don’t care if it’s just grass, I want it!
According to Buddy the Elf, “elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup,” so it makes sense then that Buddy’s favorite meal to cook is spaghetti with sugared maple syrup, sprinkles, mini-marshmallows, Hershey’s chocolate syrup, M&M’s, and Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts. It’s kind of nauseating if you’re expecting spaghetti with marinara sauce, but if you think of it more like kugel, it’s not so abhorrent. I especially like his plating method of choice: ziploc baggie. I don’t think Tom Colicchio and Padma from Top Chef would approve, but I’d give it a try.
12) Crystallized Rose Petals
Redwall Author Brian Jacques always came up with the most scrumptious sounding foods like “Otter’s hotroot soup” and “deeper n’ ever pie,” but nothing fascinated me more than the descriptions of crystallized rose petals. Sugared flower petals used for decorations on the desserts and eaten like candy, crystallized rose petals sounded like the most beautiful and dainty comestibles imaginable. If you’re so inclined, there is a whole website devoted to recreating the foods of Redwall, and yes, I will be making them all and serving them on a first come first serve basis….but only to guests who promise to talk the whole time in molespeak.
13) The food in Hook
Simultaneously unappetizing but infinitely whimsical, the pasty, play-doh-esque goo in Hook is perfect food for those who “want always to be a little boy and have fun.” While its color and consistency is icky to people with reasonable adult expectations of what food should look like, it’s exactly in line with the weird colorful=tasty expectations of children. Have you ever seen the ungodly colors Baskin Robbins pumps into its flavors marketed at children? The unnatural brightness is exactly what Peter Pan’s credo for Neverland demands.
Not all that different from Melange, Slurm from Futurama is another addictive product from a worm’s behind. Fry loves the carbonated beverage so much that even after learning how it’s created he’s willing to chug it straight from the source. That must mean it’s pretty worth it.
15) The Vomiting Drink from The Hunger Games
After all this talk about food, wouldn’t it be nice to cleanse your palate and refresh your appetite from all the conflicting flavors and indigestion-causing ingredients? If you lived in the Capitol described in The Hunger Games you could! All you’d have to do is take a sip of the glass filled with a liquid designed to induce vomiting. Then you could go back and eat your fill all over again. The best part is, though things like this exist in real life, the Capitol makes it classy. Those crazy hedonists pour it in nice crystal glasses at fancy parties for anyone to partake of as desired. I see this being most marketable around Christmastime or at fancy banquets. Instead of something being called a “black tie event” we could start calling it a “vomit juice event” and everyone would know it would be a fancy shindig.
What’s your favorite? Any other fantasy foods I’m missing? Sound off below.
Take a look at some of our other “Top Lists” related to Science Fiction and Fantasy here.